Before. I met P when I started my new job just a short five months ago. I have always believed that God sends us the right people at the right time, but this time I have proof. She has been there for me since the day I received my diagnosis. She has listened to me, encouraged me, witnessed me lose it–and helped me in so many ways. Tonight, she shaved her head with me. She even went first to make it less traumatic for me. I can’t even begin to describe what her sacrifice and tribute means to me.
After. Here we are in our after ROCKING it! It is just hair. But for me, it wasn’t about the fear of how I would look. I know I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Now every time I look in the mirror, my bald head will remind me that I am fighting stupid cancer and I’m on stupid chemo. I can’t eat after my kids, I worry about kissing them unless I have doused them with hand sanitizer or disinfectant spray. I’m not the homeroom mom anymore, I forget everything, I double book, I obsess about hand washing, I can’t order certain foods at restaurants, I have a new normal…for now. There is nothing about any of this that is fun but even on the darkest of days, I have hope. I have friends like P, who love me and who are there for me exactly when and how I need them to be. They are there for me without me asking, and even when they don’t know what to say. I wouldn’t even know what to say to me. Seriously.
After, after. I still look like me, thanks to my amazing hair stylist Jen. I may have spent on a wig what I really wanted to spend on these Christian Louboutins–but I will wear the wig much more over the next few months…and the Louboutins will come AFTER I kick the crap out of this cancer. Something else to look forward to 🙂 I’ve had some very dark days and I know there will be more to come. But every day there IS something to be grateful for. I am thankful for my healthy children, my mother being my right hand, my family, my friends like P, my supportive work family, my amazing doctors at Moffitt Cancer Center and my fight club members who have been delivering meals, cards, gifts and encouragement. That’s the short list, there is so much more. Thank you, for allowing me to share my story and my heart. Three more to go…I can and will do this, even though I don’t want to.
XO,
C
Amanda Hurtt
This is precious. I can only think of Love Does.
Cathy
You are so right! LOVE DOES! XOXO
Joy Cheatham
Your story continues to inspire. It is amazing, but not surprising that the Lord would put someone like “P” in your life. What an outstanding person she is to have done that with you and to have gone before you.
You are in my daily prayers and you are loved. Fight on! xoxo
Cathy
Thank you Joy! Your prayers are being heard, and working! XO
Debbie Smith
I love you Cathy. I’m praying for you every day.
Love you much!
You’re other mother
Debbie
Cathy
I love you too! Thank you my other mother! XO
Jen Hess
Cathy, you make me stronger in my fight with RA. Kick cancer’s ass! Praying for you, your sweet family, and the fight club daily!
Cathy
Thank You Jen! You are a blessing to me! XO, C
Corie Jones
Cathy. your strength continues to amaze me. Your words are so touching and as you go through all that you’re going through I want you to know that you’re still so comforting to others. Your words and your feelings being so real are a testament to others that may be going through the same thing knowing that there is a brighter side on the other side. One day you and your children are going to look back on these days and they’re going to just be amazed at what a strong and wonderful mother they have. I’m praying for you all the time up here in Tallahassee and want you to know that you’re in my thoughts and I appreciate your honesty in your blog and your posts. Love you girlee
Cathy
Corie, thank you so much for your kind words, you all keep me going! XO, C
Robin Moore
In middle and high school I was always an admirer of your beauty and grace. You have a charm and a way about you that just makes you stand out. Even at your hardest moments you still have that essences about you. You continue to smile, live, and inspire always looking out for the good of those who may be struggling and going through the same thing. I continue to pray for your well being, your family, and those who are close to you. You are a one of a kind and I know you will win this battle.
Cathy
Robin,
This blesses me SO much! What sweet and encouraging words. Thank you for your prayers and your support!
XO,
C
Pamela Powers
*Unbearable for you… I should have made that clear. 😃