I don’t even know how long it has been since my last post. I am working full time at Publix now and the days are just flying by. I always try to be inspirational when I post, but tonight I am going to be real.
I have been struggling the past few days when I should be celebrating. I have been looking forward to the end of my treatment since it began in August of 2015. But after my last infusion on this past Saturday, severe anxiety kicked in.
I have been fighting for so long now. Infusions every three weeks for over a year, 5 surgeries and more doctors’ appointments than I can count. My port will be removed on Thursday. Breast cancer is over.
Why am I scared?
My fear is that if I am not fighting it, it will come back. In talking with other survivors today, I am finding out that these feelings of mine are quite normal. I was fortunate enough to have a targeted drug, the cancer is not coming back. But ending my treatments and having my port removed means the fight is over…and that terrifies me just about as much as my initial diagnosis.
This is where faith steps in. The fight may be over, but now my fight is to declare every day that this chapter in my life is OVER. I have been given the gift of celebrating another Christmas…and another birthday. I have healthy children to be healthy with! 2017 won’t be filled with doctors’ appointments and treatments. Life will return to normal. Although, I am claiming that it will return to BETTER than normal, despite how I am feeling right now.
I can’t thank you all enough, for following my journey and cheering me on the entire way. It has been the hardest thing I have ever faced—and your prayers and support are what have brought me through this. I want to share this song with you all, as it spoke to my heart tonight. God is good. He has been so good to me. Every bit of strength I had, came from Him. Thank you for loving me and letting me share my heart…and my journey.